summer funk

New beginnings are never my strong suit.  I look forward to them.  I get excited for them.  And then I get wound tight, like a rubberband ball trying to break free of the new schedule, the new life and the newness of it all. 
At first, I thought the struggle came from when life was happening to others and I had to just play along - you know - when someone else's life changes or gets seemingly exciting and it affects your schedule, but your life remains the same? I think that's a part of the summer funk I am currently experiencing.  I also think its when you put your life on hold for the love of someone else.  Sort of the idea of shelfing your dreams or goals to help another.  It's also disappointment in not reaching your goals but even more disappointment when you realize it didn't matter that your goal is still unreached.  Life moved on even with the unfinished goal.
I know this is a time honored tradition of mothers who claim to "put everyone ahead and I come in last."  The council that always comes back is that a good mom takes care of herself so she can care for others.  I guess the adjustment to change is where I crash and burn.
So my point:
I guess I just wanted to put it out there that my yard has weeds.  My kids haven't done great summer projects with their fabulous mother. I have been wearing old t-shirts regardless of the paint or stain. I haven't tried to be a good friend.  I didn't do my 10K this summer, or the 5K for that matter and I haven't created anything beautiful for what seems like a long time. Feels like my contribution to society is lacking.
And through it all, the world keeps spinning. 
And now that I've acknowledged my nose dive of a summer, it's time to giddy-up, I suppose and be my family's powerhouse...again.